I thought it would be fun to record my 12 weeks scan. I am almost 19 weeks, but it has taken me this long to reflect on things and get myself prepped for writing this blog and it just wouldn't feel right to skip the 12 week scan.
As I mention in the post ' My first trimester' linked here , I spent a hell of a lot of that early time frightened of almost everything. I had a lot of 'What ifs' in my head, especially after witnessing a lot of close friends, clients and even family going through miscarriage, and the 12 week scan was, for me as for a lot of Mummies out there, a homing beacon that we were aiming for and it was all that I could focus on.
The day of the scan came round and I was like a cat on a hot tin roof for the whole morning. We were due to be at the hospital for lunchtime, and were out of the house by 11.30am, I was THAT eager to get there. I drank water as steadily as I could, after being told to turn up with a 'moderately full bladder'.
NOTE: What do they actually mean by 'moderately full'?? I either need to pee, or I don't. I've never been aware of the in between??
We got a Costa hot chocolate to pass the time (and help ensure my bladder was moderately full) and tried to take our minds off of the 'what ifs'. I was so off focus, Paulibear had stopped me from being run over on the walk in to the hospital, and I sat down in a seat at Costa that was just about to be sat in by someone else! She was literally about to sit and I just sat down without even noticing her... mortifying for me, I can't abide rudeness! I realised what I had done and apologised but she was very gracious about it.... shout out of 'Thank you!!' to the nice lady in Costa that day.
We went in to be scanned and hey presto! The sonographer was my client Sammi! Imagine our surprise when we recognise each other and before I know it, she is saying 'Oh, I've booked in with you on Saturday but need to alter it by half an hour as I am working til 1pm, is that ok?' And I am assuring her its no problem, whilst Paulibear is looking between us with a dazed expression of 'How d'you know.... each... other??'. Bless him, it was surreal to find ourselves in such a small world!
It turned out to be a blessing though. I was able to tell Sammi about my fears of there being something wrong and she was so supportive, making a deal with me to only let me look at the screen if all was ok. On went the cold jelly (such a yucky mess that stuff!) and then the probe was on my tummy and all the while I was searching Sammi's face for her reaction.
In seconds she was smiling and said 'Oh for god sake, look at that screen!'. I asked if baby was there and as I turned to look she said 'Clear as day, hello baby!'.
And there, on a grainy black and white screen, was our little bear. He/she was sitting upright and with every push on the probe, he/she would move and wriggle around, as if in protest of being disturbed. We get shown the brain, the spine, the heart beating away looking like a flicker on the screen, and to our surprise, I am measured as being nearly 13 weeks instead of just past 12. Paulibear and I were completely transfixed. If Paulibear could have climbed into the screen he would have done. I could have happily set up camp and watched that screen for the next 6 months.... by manner of Big Brother.
Can imagine it now 'DAY ONE in the BIG BROTHER WOMB".
I never knew that I would feel so much love for a tiny person on a screen. It was incredible. And the relief of seeing baby happily wiggling around and waving a teeny hand at me... well, I came back from the dark place I'd been in for all the previous weeks. I still worry and fear for baby, but hey, that's being a parent and will never leave, even after said baby is grown and gone from the nest. But to be told all looks healthy and that you were out of the perceived 'danger zone', it is one of the best feelings I have ever had.
Measurements were taken of the fluid at the back of baby's neck, by way of testing for Down's syndrome and other chromosome abnormalities, which all came back ok via letter a few days later, and Sammi gave us 5 pictures for free (we usually have to pay £5 for a maximum of 2 images at a scan) so I made sure to give her the best hair cut and highlights of her life the following Saturday!
|Baby bear, 12 week scan.|