Do you ever feel like life is just one great, big juggling act, complete with whole matching dinner set?? I constantly live in awe of time and how it can sometimes drag to the point that it feels as if you are wading through treacle and then it suddenly zooms by so fast, your head spins and you feel really dizzy.
Most of this week has been spent with me hopping from one task to the next, with a consistent theme of 'There just aren't enough hours in the day!'. I am gearing up to starting back with my hairdressing, piecing in the odd booking around child care, plus still maintaining my blogging as much as possible as well as embracing an exciting new venture into the land of beauty and marketing by becoming a Presenter with Younique. I'm even looking into training as a professional Makeup Artist, as soon as I find a decent course that is.
In between all this flurry of excitement and productivity, a little voice keeps tugging at my ear and saying 'Don't forget your most important task, you are a Mummy'. I always thought that motherhood is difficult because you struggle to pee in peace, or to put on a bit of lippy before leaving the house.... or even just actually leaving the bloody house! But what motherhood really does that makes times feel hard is that it tests you with regards to how selfish you can be in general. This means something different to everyone. And that something different is most usually what the mother in question loves to do. We all love a bit of bath time, or a moment for a cuppa and catch up telly... even a trip around the shops can be reviving. But 9 times out of 10, if my ability to do any of those becomes compromised, I can shrug it off and happily trade it in for Mummy Duty. It doesn't test my resolve.
But, the other day, during a busy day of work, baby and blogging, I hit a weakness barrier. I had to juggle so much that day and it was so damn hard. Babies can't be reasoned with whilst you send a quick email, your partner doesn't necessarily need to be posted to on Facebook whilst you are just sat across the room from them and when the washing up pile is so vast that you are drinking out of an egg cup, you do feel as though something really has got to be compromised. Which is where I could feel resentment creeping in. I have always loved working. I am always into some project, or have some idea or am in the middle of some venture. It keeps me motivated and prevents tedium setting in. I thrive on creativity, interaction and love feeling the cogs of my mind whirring away on the latest brainstorm. Why do you think I write so much?! It gives me a perfect outlet for all the activity in my tired old head! That day felt like I was losing my grip on the wheel and I became rather despondent about everything.
|Juggling laptop and baby!|
I crawled into bed, berating my unending to do list, all the people responsible for CBeebies and the fact that I had been required to climb yet another pile of dirty plates and laundry before I could even get to enjoy MY laptop time. I huffed and puffed my way into comfort, resentment in full swing as I plumped up my pillow. But then I caught the sound of my baby Bear snuffling away in slumberland, all tucked up in his cot across the room. And I felt my partner in crime's back against mine, all cosy and safe, whilst two balls of cat nestled at our feet purring away. And I was suddenly choking on a big slab of humble pie. Juggling is meant to be fun, not tedious. Putting a few plates down for a moment isn't the end of the world, they can always be picked back up. And how lucky am I that I have so many wonderful plates to juggle!
Additional information and findings from this week :
- Trying to help a baby learn to sit up takes patience and understanding. And reserved judgement. Who knows, mimicking the leaning tower of pisa might actually be a fun thing to do?!
- Baby Bear is now into lurching himself up and forward whenever he is laying down. Very cute to behold but soon cuteness can't be enjoyed as Baby's face contorts into a frustrated expression before taking on a firey red complexion and erupting into a flurry of hot tears. Once pulled into an upright position it all stops as quick as if someone had flipped a switch. This cycle gets repeated approximately 33000.5 times a day... or atleast it feels like it!
- Baby bear has started to communicate just by saying 'mmmmmmmmmm' to everything. The tone varies though, ranging from soft and floaty to urgent and loud. Powerful enough to make my hand quiver in earnest the other evening when I didn't get the spoon of food into his mouth quick enough. 500 Bad mummy points.
- Cbeebies is oddly mesmerising. Caught myself actually attempting 'the fish' yoga manoeuvre on Waybuloo the other morning. And singing along with all the songs. Mr Tumble has given me a whole new education on signing too... although I still find myself feeling an irrational desire to punch his freckled, red nosed face. Must be hormones.
- Baby Bear has tried roast dinner and weetabix for the very first time this week. Obviously, he loved them both. He also got to try a little crumb of cake when myself and my friend Sam went out for afternoon tea. Her son Alfie was there too, and both of them were so well behaved that a lady came over and complimented us on the fact. Little did she know we were bribing them with chocolate cake crumbs but I did jokingly say we had drugged them....
Ps. The AfternoonTea at the Waterfront Hotel/Thistle Hotel in Brighton is sooooo nice! I got it with this Groupon deal if anyone is interested, and they included parking which was a bargain! Click here for the Deal.