Mother's Day used to be a day for cherishing my mum. To be thankful for her, and all she does, as well as relishing her and her presence in our lives. And of course, it still is!
But, now, I'm a mum. I have this, little being all of my own. This cheeky, all encompassing, funny, cute little ball of human... who is literally half of me.
Before him, well, it's all just a blur now really. We tried to think of a time without him and it doesn't come to mind. Just doesn't compute. How could it? That life has been exchanged for a new one, one with him in it. A life without him isn't worth remembering in any vast detail.
Mother's Day for me, is a time for being thankful, not just for my mum and not just BB and his Dad's thanks for having me around. It is a day I am thankful, thankful for him being mine and for being given the role to be his Mummy.
For the days where it all seems too much, the nights without sleep and the worries we keep. For the pain of labour, the aches of pregnancy and the stripes it's left behind. For the endless to do list and organisation needed to function throughout the day. For every nap time, new tooth and shitty nappy. For every gloriously early morning start and every frantic meal time that leaves the floor looking like it has an edible carpet of crumbs and goop.
I am thankful.
And humble too. Being a Mummy has also given me an insight to an entirely new perspective in life. A deeper empathy through picturing the view through the eyes of those who have lost babies, lost their mothers and who through no foreseen circumstances may have never managed to have children. This day of merriment for mothers, card swapping and daffodil buying before going for a walk or lunch, can be so painful to so many. It makes me want to hug them all, reassure them that, whether they are mourning their mothers or offspring, today still applies. Your mother or offspring either produced or were produced by you. You are forever connected, on all days, not just one.
So, to mothers who are no longer with us, or mothers who have little ones in their dreams, to those who are growing them as we speak and to those in the same shoes as me, I would like to wish you all a very warm and happy Mother's Day.
And how did I spend my first Mother's Day?
With my own Mum away for the weekend, and PB working, I was worried I would feel lonely for my first Mother's Day. Then I realised I can't be lonely with this little guy around. We chilled out together after PB made us breakfast, then took an afternoon walk and ate cake.
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